We're so close, yet a shadow lingers in between us; separating us completely. Why? Why does this barrier have to come in between us? It's interfering with all our thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I feel as though we have never met before. It's like seeing the person sitting opposite you in the train carriage.

Could it be a third party interference? Is that person trying to tear us apart by inserting this barrier in between us? Why? If it is disapproving of me to be with her, tell it to me right in my face. Why bother with the fancy stuff? Do you draw pleasure from seeing people suffer in bewilderment from such emotions, you psycho?

I want to get closer. I want to be her friend. But yet, I want to maintain that distance where we can have our own privacy. How to do so without any intrusion of any sort? I fear that as time goes by, our relationship with each other will only dwindle and disappear altogether. I don't want that to happen. I'll be so lost without it.

All the pain will come back to me and I'll be my heartless self again. That will be totally undesirable. All those years of seeing couples holding hands and walking down the vividly decorated streets of Orchard Road, and eyeing them with jealousy and feeling the pain of that empty void will come back.

It is the lonely feeling that no one is there for you, the warm ocean breeze that only seems like an icy wind biting your cheeks. As you walk along the road you only see happy couples, laughing and talking, enjoying each others company while you only have your thoughts and cell phone to accompany you. When you watch a movie, you only laugh with yourself and at the end of the show, you see other couples holding hands telling each other how good the movie was while you only grasp the large coke in your hands and throw it away on the way out. When you achieve one of your intermediate goals, you only have yourself to rejoice with.

No, I don't want that. Not again